Cheating Charges Challenge the Integrity of Segathon

June 12th, 2006

The sombrero dropped to the floor uncovering Comer atop on Brandon's shoulders. If it wasn't for Wroges' Scott Biao impression, the intoxicated competitors of POP 05 , would of tarred and feathered Brandon right there.

The sombrero dropped to the floor uncovering Comer atop on Brandon’s shoulders. If it wasn’t for Wroges’ Scott Biao impression, the intoxicated competitors of POP 05 , would of tarred and feathered Brandon right there.

SEGATHON H.Q.- When Brandon took the POP ’05 title, and became the first non-founder to hold such a title, cynics were many. Some went as far as to say he was below the B.A.C. limit during league play.

Until today, Brandon was never formally charged with anything but many people who witnessed the event said it was “fishy”

Then today at 4:00am CST, Wroge emailed the league with pictures and detailed plans on how Brandon cheated his way to victory. “I need to expose the dark secret.” stated Wroge. Turns out Wroge was one of the henchman in the plan take the title from the four founders.

The plan was intricate, wait until everyone gets drunk and bring in a ringer to win the games and sneak him out. But how would the ringer avoid detection? Well Brandon and co had designed a shoulder harness in which a smaller player could sit atop of Brandon’s shoulders, then the person would be covered with a large novelty sombrero to avoid detection.

Enter Mr. Comer, Brandon’s JV football coach and Dean. A little known fact is that Mr. Comer has the world record for most hours of NHL 95 played. And with his diminutive size made him the perfect ringer for their dastardly plan.

Brandon and Comer were sentenced to 8 hours of community service, Wroge was only there for an hour after his plea bargain.

Brandon and Comer were sentenced to 8 hours of community service, Wroge was only there for an hour after his plea bargain.

Right before the start of the playoffs Brandon said, “I better put on my lucky hat” which was the harness sombrero contraption in which Comer hid under.

Things were going smooth, Brandon & Comer were skating their way to the championship until the sombrero fell off exposing Comer to the rest of the group.

Comer acted quickly and yelled “Whaaat are yooo doooing! Report to I.S.S. NOW!” At that point everyone scrambled for a second as Comer’s yell had evoked a primitive panic in them that the have not felt since adolescence; which allowed enough time for the hat to be put back on.

When Luke asked “Whoa dude, was Comer just on Brandon’s shoulders like MadMax?” Wroge quickly pulled down his pants and did the Scott Baio exclaiming “Look at me, I’m Travis” That was just enough stimuli to keep the rest of the drunks from remembering the hat debacle.

Later on that night after the win, Comer hid himself in the keg barrel and was snuck out the door by Karl and his accomplice.

The sentencing was hard and fast. Brandon and Comer were sentenced to 8 hours of community service while Wroge only had 1 hour on the account of his cooperation. Karl and his accomplice are currently on the run.