Travis’s WANG Goes to the Moon

May 12, 2006

Houston, Texas – In a bold attempt to be put in the record books Travis has announced he will be the first person to play NHL 95 on the moon. To achieve this goal, Travis would need to become an astronaut, which should be a daunting task, but all Travis had to do was do was a 300 word review of the movie Armageddon which he titled “My Idol, Ben Affleck”

Everything was set, training Monday, flight simulator Tuesday, lift off Wednesday and play on the Moon on Thursday. But this schedule proved rigorous for the Freelance Educator. Sleep deprived and cranky Travis was visibly exhausted for Wednesday’s Lift Off. Squad Leader Rex Daniels said “The boy had no Getty Up, and I couldn’t understand his mush mouth, for cripes sake speak up!”

Things went along swimmingly , the trip to the moon is roughly 27 hours, which is just enough time for Travis to tell his famous “left her on the post” story. When they arrived they suited him up ASAP and Travis was on the Moon with TV and Sega in hand. Travis had set up the TV and Sega inside a crater and while searching for an outlet, the nicotine urge came quick and hard, maybe it was the zero gravity or the high concentration of oxygen in his suit but he needed and American Spirit Cig and needed it now. Travis bounded back to the shuttle, mumbling indistinguishable babble over his helmet microphone.

Rex opened the hatch quickly for Travis, Travis push Rex over and flew to his locker and lit up that sweet tobacco……

After the shuttle was engulfed in flames, the shuttle’s sprinklers and autopilot turned on. 27 hours later back in Houston, Travis was greeted as a hero being the fist person to unsuccessfully play NHL95 on the Moon.