Segathon 2022

It’s been 1 year and 8 months since the Slap Shot Segathon was completed, granting us what feels like diplomatic immunity due to the substantial time that has passed for a recap. First Off Segathon and Slapshot is a perfect pairing we had multiple Hanson Brothers and a lot of sleazy guys in polyester suits.

This recap is not so much a traditional recap but rather a copy-paste compilation of any files I could find. When we initially began doing recaps in the early aughts of the new millennium, it was genuinely astonishing to witness your pictures and content on the internet. Nowadays, posting on your own website, as opposed to platforms like Twitter or YouTube (insert an overused Grindr joke here), has become the norm in our lives.

So, without further ado, here’s my copy-paste opus of the event. I love that we continue this nonsense many years later. I jokingly mentioned to our COO, Jud, that my funeral will likely consist of a plethora of Segathon pictures, leaving all non-Segathon connections utterly perplexed.

Enough with the rambling; let’s get to the copy-paste section

OG Email sent to people….most of the emails are like our old AOL or college emails we had in the early 2000s so most probably don’t get these either. (insert old man yells at cloud pic)

What is it like to see the Pinwheel on Ice Stravaganza? What type of Dog saved Charlestown from the 1938 Flood? Who OWNS the Chiefs?

These are all questions that will be answered at the long-awaited, twice covid delayed, 2021 SLAPSHOT themed SEGATHON on Saturday, March 12th…2022!
Negotiations have been underway for many months to extend Segathon’s expired Lease at Pillips Insurance Arena in Lakeville, MN. Just this afternoon CEO Nick Shovell and COO Jud Phillips inked a deal with Mrs Pillips for a 2 year extension. “We were at a standstill with the wife, but once I booked her ticket to AZ for that spring break week she said she didn’t care what the hell we did”, stated Jud.

Ace Rothstein will be working overtime to keep up with whose been following protocols, whose been practicing, and who’s been sitting around with their Thumbs up their ars (a known thumb strange I got technique in the Sega Industry). Early odds have the defending Champion Blair Cinton as a 2-1 Favorite, but a lot will depend on BAC levels, and the potential of new blood from seasoned online players.

Whoever comes out on top will remain to be seen, but certainly, everyone in attendance will come out a winner. Shovell stated, “We have never had a SlapShot themed event and players have been longing for it for years. People will be dressed up as The Hanson’s, Ogie Oglethorpe, Dr Hook McCracken, and rumor has it that Hanrahan’s wife Susan May be able to make it”

So Pull Out (that’s what she said) those Consoles and freshen up your Down and B’s……And we’ll see you at Segathon!!

Who: All the Cool Kids
What: Segathon 2021 (belated)
When: Saturday March, 12 2022
Where: Jud’s House Lakeville, MN
Why: Why the hell not

Disclaimer: As with all stuff nowadays, do not come if sick, stupid, or compromised. Plenty of places to crash, but also a Hampton Inn 5 min away. No blind eye driving late.

Okay, before I head to the Twitter machine for more copy-paste, for those few who still read these and may be disappointed by the copy-paste, remember that there are two big ’95 things happening now:

The W – Thomas Ultramagnus, a big-brained coffin salesman from the Great White North, has an online league that some of the Segathoners are a part of. It’s the best, and you should sign up. Check it out here: https://www.nhl95.net/
The Gopher Tailgate NHL ’95 Event takes place about six times a year, where we get our in-person NHL ’95 fix. It’s a blast, and everyone wants to be in the Champions Club. I’ll provide a recap at some point, but there’s so much content, and we’re forbidden to post any stats other than who was the champ that week.

Alright, on to the copy-paste: We ran out of Swayze movies, so we went with the Slap Shot theme, which was a perfect match, and we booked the World’s Hottest NHL ’95 band, ‘Down + B’.